How To Help Your Child Through Your Divorce
Children are often stronger than parents realize. However, divorce is a difficult transition for even the most resilient children. The best way to help your child through divorce is to show support and love and to minimize the impact of the divorce on your child's life. Here are a few tips to help you with this process.
Keep Routines Consistent Between Both Households
Children feel safer when they know what's going to happen next. Eating the usual meals, sleeping at the normal times and going to the usual social activities will help your child manage the dramatic changes that taking place in the family. As you work out the custody arrangement and juggle new routines, keep the routines that don't need to change. If possible, keep your child in the same school and seeing the same friends. Maintain the same play dates and pay the same babysitters.
Some routines may have been put into place for now-defunct reasons. Pizza night on Tuesdays might have been your spouse's preference, for example. Over time, you'll be able to integrate changes that make more sense with your new life. For the time being, keep all the routines in place that you can. Smoothing the transition for your little one is more important than doing everything in the most sensible way possible.
Divide Your Child's Possessions Evenly
Your child can take comfort in knowing that his or her possessions are located in both houses—that there is not one home with the bulk of his or her things and one home without anything familiar. If possible, work with a family law attorney, like Mills & Mills Law Group, to ensure a relatively equal division of your child's possessions between the two households.
Work Out a Predictable Custody Arrangement
Your child should know which parent he or she will be staying with and on what days. Not knowing may cause your child anxiety and confusion and can lead to arguments. Whatever the custody arrangement is, make it clear to your child so that he or she will know when it's time to see each parent.
Show Your Child Love As Often As Possible
Children need a lot of comfort and support during upsetting life changes like divorce. More than anything else, children must understand that they are just as loved by their parents as they ever were.
Give your child more hugs than normal. Say "I love you" as often as it occurs to you. Make little gestures that show your child how much he or she means to you. For example, leave your child a kind note in his or her lunch box, or send your child a text message to say that you care.
Divorce is hard for everyone, including children. Be understanding and patient as you work out this new life with your child. Over time, you and your child will both be able to move on.
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