Co-Parenting With A Difficult Ex-Partner
If you are raising a child with a difficult former spouse, you shouldn't resign yourself to the difficulties because it may affect your child's welfare. Here are some useful tips to ensure that doesn't happen:
Keep the Kids Out Of Your Disagreements
Trying to get the kids to take sides in any disagreement is dangerous for their psychological well-being. The problem is between the two of you, and it should stay that way. In fact, you should even solve your disagreements without the kids knowing the details of the disagreement.
Put the Children First
Whenever an issue comes up that the two of you cannot agree on, revert to the default of inquiring how either position may impact the kid's welfare. This is because co-parenting is supposed to benefit the kids; it is not for your own egos. Therefore, if you want school A and the other parent wants school B, agree to put your emotions aside and choose the school that is most likely to benefit the kid the most.
Keep Your Promises
Being inconsistent is one of the most annoying things you can do for the other parent. If this weak you have argued, begged and harangued them into letting you take the kids for a weekend outing, it will be disheartening for the other parent for you to fail at the last minute. That is a sure way of telling the other parent that they shouldn't take you seriously the next time.
Try to View Every Situation from the Other Person's Position
It is easy to think of yourself as right and the other parent as wrong if you are only reviewing an issue from your point of view. Therefore, if you can't agree on an issue, look at it from the other parent's point of view and, maybe, you may just find that they have a point after all. You may find that those snacks you insist on buying for the kids every time you visit are actually bad for their health because they induce stomach upsets (maybe you previously thought the other parent just feared the kid would love you more).
Reduce Your Expectations on Your Ex
Human beings are mistake-prone creatures so expecting your former spouse to be right every time is expecting something that even you cannot achieve. The more you expect someone to be perfect the more you are setting up yourself for failure. Therefore, accept the fact that your ex will make a few mistakes here and then and you will be less likely to get mad at them every time they err.
If the above tips don't help, consider seeking a modification of the child custody or visitation agreement. Consult a family or child custody lawyer to help you explore your options.
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